Blended Orgasms are the Big 'O' You've Been Missing
You probably don’t need to read an article to learn that orgasms are pretty great. But you may be interested in knowing how to make them even better. That’s right — we’re talking about blended orgasms. So what are blended orgasms and how do you have one? SheKnows spoke with a few experts to find out.
What are blended orgasms?
Blended orgasms are a combination of different orgasm types that happen simultaneously, Dr. Shannon Chavez, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist tells SheKnows. In fact, they can involve two, three, or more erogenous zones that are stimulated and cause an orgasm response — the most common involving direct stimulation to the clitoris, G-spot, nipples, and vulva and vagina, which stimulates the internal body of the clitoris.
“The clitoris is more than just the glans that you see located outside at the top of the vulva — it’s actually an amazing network of nerve endings in a wishbone shape that reaches back internally along either side the labia towards the vaginal opening,” Domina Franco, a sex educator, coach and writer, tells SheKnows. “The G-spot is just on the inside of the vaginal wall. It’s more common for people with vulvas to orgasm with clitoral stimulation with a much smaller percentage climaxing from penetration alone…but mix those two? FIREWORKS.”
What happens during a blended orgasm?
So how exactly do blended orgasms work? According to Chavez, an orgasm is a reflex that is triggered by stimulation of areas of the body that are sensitive to touch. The buildup leads to contractions and involuntary spasms of the pelvic floor and energy being released as an orgasm.
“The advantage of a blended orgasm is multiple areas are stimulated at the same time and the body can be primed for more variation for orgasm,” she explains. “It helps to improve your orgasm response and priming of your genital nervous system. There is a neural super highway in the pelvic area that connects all the organs in the genital area. Blended orgasms are activating the nerve endings so that the communication throughout this neural network is intense and powerful.”
How to have a blended orgasm
At this point, you’re probably wondering how to have a blended orgasm, and don’t worry — we’re not going to leave you hanging.
The first thing Chavez recommends is embodiment — so you can pay attention to sensations that are pleasurable. Embodiment involves breathing from the belly, relaxing the body, and releasing tension in the pelvic area, she explains. Breathing also increases blood flow and relaxes the muscles which makes orgasm possible. “Recognizing sensations is a mindful practice to help your mind-body connection to pleasure and sensation,” Chavez says.
You also have to get in an orgasm state of mind. “Focus on what you notice as sensations and not the goal of orgasm,” Chavez suggests. “Be aware of what turns you on and what you find arousing. Get your body into it. Movement can also trigger an orgasm, so don’t hold back in flexing your body and moving your hips.”
If you’re ready to get physical, you may want to start on your own. “A person with a vulva/vagina might want to try experimenting with blended orgasms on their own first during solo sex or masturbation because not everyone actually finds pleasure in G-spot stimulation,” Franco explains. And if you’re someone who doesn’t like how it feels, that’s perfectly fine, she adds.
Not sure where to start? Franco suggests starting out with a toy specifically designed for G-spot stimulation, or by inserting one or two fingers into the vaginal canal and using a sort of “come hither” motion with their fingers.
“Someone should see if they actually like the feeling first, then build up and give some attention to that clitoris,” Franco says. “It’s like an orchestra and you are the conductor: take it slow, experiment and see how you feel. If it’s a winner and you orgasm until you’re seeing cartoon birds and stars floating around your head post-O, then you could choose to introduce the practice into partnered sex.”
Even if your goal is to have a blended orgasm via partnered sex, it really is a good idea to go solo first and figure out what is best for you. “When you know if something works for you and you’ve test driven it in a low stakes environment on your own, it’s easier to show someone else how to please you in this way,” Franco notes. “Patience is key here. Any new sexual play sometimes takes a little practice — and what a fun way to hone your skills.”
And if you’re having success using a device or toy on your own, you can absolutely use one with a partner, too. Chavez recommends using different vibrational intensity and patterns to expand your pleasure potential.
There are plenty of other options with a partner. For example, Chavez suggesting having them use their hands or mouth on your nipples, or clitoris and use a sucking and licking motion with a flexed tongue.
“While stimulating these areas, they can use hands or a device to stimulate the vulva, introitus — the opening of the vagina where there are many nerve endings — and anterior wall of the vagina where you will feel the mound of nerves that is referred to the G-spot,” she explains. “Stimulate these areas slowly so that arousal can build up. Slow and steady will be more likely to trigger an orgasm.”
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