26 More Days

16. and 17. April, the Second Senate of the Federal constitutional court in Germany is negotiating six constitutional complaints against Section 217 of the penal code. This is since the end of 2015, the business-like promotion of suicide in this country under punishment. In the Netherlands, active euthanasia is allowed.

In January 2018, the photographer Sandra Hoyn and the 29-year-old Aurelia meet. The first Meeting is at the same time, the day of the farewell begins: The young woman is only 26 days. Not even a month remains, then you will drink a poisonous liquid and die. Because you want it. And because this is in the Netherlands.

Aurelia is seriously ill. She has depression, suffers from the so-called dissociative disorders and Borderline personality disorder. On several occasions she has tried to take his own life. “In my head, a Monster that stabs me with a hundred knives” – as she describes her condition.

For years, Aurelia has fought against their diseases. But no treatment has helped, no therapy, her condition got worse. To die, the decision is not in favor of the young woman easily, but her mental pain becoming greater and greater. “I would like to live, but I don’t want to suffer anymore,” she says. “The Only thing I can think of is: ‘Let it be over!'”

Even though euthanasia for the mentally Ill in the Netherlands, legally, be allowed only a few cases per year. 21 Aurelia was the first Time a request to be allowed to die, but received a negative response. However, some years later, you agreed to a number of independent Physicians that she was incurable – your new application is accepted. The date on which the mobile euthanasia-should a Team come to her, will on the 26. January 2018.

Photographer Hoyn was on the Internet randomly on Aurelia’s attention, since a couple of years ago you dealt with the issue of euthanasia. She had already accompanied some of the people who wanted to take this in Switzerland. Now, you wrote to Aurelia, and said immediately. Only a few days later, the photographer was sitting in the train and drove off.

“We had the agreement that we will not terminate the project at any time, if we like it or Aurelia is too much,” says Hoyn. But the two understand immediately, to spend from now on, every day together, even sleep in the same apartment. In a very short time a strong bond between the women. You talk a lot, laugh together, cry, argue.

Aurelia cuts with shards of glass in the skin, expresses cigarettes on her arms, and sprays deodorant in your eyes. On some days, you don’t want to kill yourself, but because you know that your appointment is approaching. Hoyn says: “Once you said to me: ‘Sandra, I would like to hurt me now. You can stay in the living room, or go beyond, if you can’t see it. But stop me not in it.'” The photographer remains.

In the Video: Aurelia does not want to suffer more

“I wanted to understand their pain, their despair, which is of course only possible to a limited extent,” says Hoyn. “No one can relate to this really. But if others accepted their decision, helped her already.”

Aurelia organizes your funeral, hanging out with friends, tinkering. Most of the time you spend on Instagram and Facebook, tweets, post, Videos; she writes a Blog and gives Interviews. Her Mission in her last few weeks, is that euthanasia for the mentally Ill in the Netherlands is more accepted.

“You didn’t want to cause other people to commit suicide,” explains Hoyn. “You wish that those who want to end their lives because of suffering, will get the Chance in a self-determined and supported to die of a physician.”

And then the 26 is. January. Your friends say goodbye to Aurelia. Then she goes to bed, to drink her medicine, give her to the Doctors. You just go to sleep, as she had wished.

Circles your thoughts about to take his own life? You talk to other people about it. Here you will find the – also anonymous – offers of help in seemingly hopeless situations. By phone, Chat, E-Mail or in a personal conversation.